Maybe there’s some negative aura thing making us friends to dysfunction. Then again, I’m not the type who believes in auras and stuff like that. Rachel doesn’t either. Perhaps that’s the heart of our similarity: a connection in that we find everything weird yet understandable in the context of noun use because the word aura sounds cool. But that’s conjecture. I’ve never heard anyone but literature snobs fighting over the meanings of words, and those people need adrenaline in their lives, so more power to them. Honestly, it’s a semantics issue, and who really cares about that? Semantics is just an insidious way to punish the innocent. I don’t imagine a difference in opinion about nouns and other weird things is what brought us to dislike other. We agree on that. That couldn’t have been the spark.

Just for the record, so we’re not digging through worm pits for some secret element that crept its way into our relationship and blew us up, we also agree that fast-food is awesome, dogs are too loud, and the past is worth forgetting, especially when we can’t let it go. None of those things would have ignited our conflict, either. So don’t assume our problems began with something trivial. I mean, I’m sure it was trivial, but not that trivial. I’m pretty sure that’s true. Just wanted to clear that up.

Least surprising, we agree that jet-skiing is cool. It’s the water sport that initially brought us to this spot alongside the road. Convenient, right? There’s another interesting word for dictionary types—an adjective this time. Convenient.